SNAP 25^th Anniversary: A Lamentation  

I lament for the little girl:

• Who lost her innocence at the age of nine

• Who couldn’t say no

• Who felt dirty and bad

• Who was terrified of going to hell if she told.

• Who lost her sense of safety in her own home and hid under the steps in a closet when he came over.

• Whose self-confidence was lost.

• Who disappeared inside of books where it was safe

• Who had frequent nightmares about being found in the rectory.

• Who cut her very long hair so that no one would notice her or touch her hair anymore especially him.

• Who hated seeing him say Mass because she would have to see the same hands that hurt her hold the chalice

• Who repressed her memories of her abuse where they couldn’t hurt her anymore but they did anyway
  I lament for the adolescent:

• Who was afraid of boys not because of what they might try with her but of her fear of being unable to say no

• Who knew she wasn’t normal but didn’t understand why

• Who wanted a boyfriend but was too afraid to have one

• Who stayed home from dances and cried because she was too afraid to dance with boys because that meant they would touch her

• Who became two people: the one that smiled and was everybody’s best friend and the one inside who felt alone, isolated, and afraid

I lament for the young college student:

• Who was so afraid to leave home

• Who was afraid to be around boys in a social setting

• Who cried because she so desperately wanted to be normal

• Who never thought anyone would want to be her friend

• Who had a hard time trusting.

I lament for the man who married this women:

• Who had many challenges in their marriage

• Whose wife was afraid to trust 

• Whose wife was unable to believe that she was worthy of love and devotion

• Whose wife was triggered by events but didn’t understand why

• Whose wife went through periods of depression for unknown reasons

I lament for the victim:

• Who remembered her abuse at the age of 48

• Whose flashbacks are terrifying

• Who has spent many nights curled up in her bathroom crying and afraid

•  Who sometimes prayed that she wouldn't wake up in the morning

• Whose family has been affected by her deep sadness

• Who feels abandoned by God when she needs Him the most

• Who feels guilty for those who were abused after her because she didn’t tell

• Who desperately needs to find God but is too afraid to reach out and find out he isn’t there

• Who just wants to be whole